Breaking Up With a BFF

Feeling A Little: Worried
Playing A Little: Headlight Disco by The Click Five
Recommending A Little: Sleep it helps everyone.

My dad is in the hospital waiting on the word of a surgeon and all I can think about is this mess that my friendship is laying in. God we all need a break and whether that break may be a few months, a few years or the rest of my life that is fine. I have the memories. I have had just about the greatest 4 years of my life. Its funny really that it ends now and at 4 years. We have that stupid religion and really if you think about it things happen quite a lot in 4s.

It hurts really to say that it needs to end. We were odd enough to plan a future. We gave me a future I think. I never had a plan, never had anything to strive for. Now I have my goal and how to get there. Many good things came out of this relationship and yes I am sorry that my kids may not get to know an Aunty Batman and may not be called horrible torturous names that would have them beaten up in school.

The time has come though. We held on so tight and its all unraveling and neither of us can catch it before it falls away. Friendships come and go and this is one that made it through the absolute worst but couldn't survive other tests. Really my heart is breaking and no matter what horrible things I try to convince myself of her she still was the best person I ever knew.

I think of stupid things like how she has my books or I have something of hers. How we are going to break it to everyone, teachers especially because we have been as good as sisters. How we are never going to be phoning each other excited or disappointed over university acceptance. How I might be able to actually afford university because I won't have a 4 million dollar phone bill each month. We had so many things, so many memories that I don't ever want to forget but just for this moment I do. I want to forget the last 4 years if only to let my heart mend.

We were the idiots who threw junior mints at cars, incestual lesbians, the ones who woke up at 4: 44 on the 4th of April to celebrate a made up religion, the ones who go to learning conferences convinently right when Social is, the ones who were insperable, the ones who were as close a sisters, the ones who had the friendship that everyone had, the ones who would have done anything for the other. We were the best of friends. All things come to an end and unfortunately its the best things.

I love her to death and one day maybe when we are 40 and taking a stroll down memory lane we can get back in touch and not remember why it fell it apart but that we were the best of friends. We can remember how stupid we were at 16 to give it up. Friends are few and far between and you have to hold on tight, but sometimes you just have to let go.

Until The Next Song,
Zoë

The best of our times: http://photographic-memory-.piczo.com/?g=24663751&cr=6