Pretty Sure Abadoning England is What They Mean By L-O-V-E

Feeling A Little: Tired
Playing A Little: The Break-up Song by Runner Runner
Recommending A Little: Electric Valentine

I NEVER in a million year would have thought that I would give up England/ the rest of the world because of a boy (and I am homesick). I think half of the reason I like BC boy is because I have the romantic notion. You know the whole childhood sweethearts separated for years then brought back together to fall deeply in love, then blah blah marriage blah blah kids the boring bits :D. Well and the other half is I am psycho and I don't think he knows that... well except I kind of told him I wanted to be a vampire with a cape. :D Don't think I scared him off too too much (He told me he wanted to be a vampire too so bonding.)

Instead is being OH so kind about it. I don't know what he looks like now, but I figure at 10 he was adorable what's 6 years... Kay me. But that's because I had like uber short hair and wasn't blind. Plus I am a little confused on this straight thing but I will figure that out the next time we talk which I totally am aching for. He apparently has a gay best friend who tells people yes when they ask if they are going out. < Bonding moment. :P But when I asked him if he had a girlfriend I felt like an ass because they had just broken up but who knows if he just didn't want to correct me.

Oh god and I think Instead actually found like THE happy medium for me. Sure I don't get the education I want but that's what books are for. Kindergarten teacher. Then I won't have to steal them and I get to spend a whole day with adorable kids. I know someone is going to say this is a waste of potential and all that shit but you know what I can imagine me happy and I'll publish a book. :P If I ever learn the English language properly. I never thought about it because everyone was like Zoe you have to take 6 million years of school in order to be something. How about I take 4 and that'll make me happy.

Um I think I totally abadoned my dreams of the US. I can't take my SATs. I think I am pushing everything aside just because its too much. I am running around taking 4 cores (and perfectly on top of my homework :D), doing someones Career and Life Management course, working 22 hours a week, volunteering 3 hours a week, babysitting saturday nights, lunch on sunday usually followed by some sort of social function. AKA no time. I love it though.

For some reason I just want to not do my summer research thing that I've been blathering about forever. I know that half the things I want to do instead would never happen but it just seems like things I do have planned happen at the very end. I definitely need to get a car though. Its just decided now. I have the funds. I just need the license. Blah that means courses. But it also means I can road trip it. Yay! That is like my dream to take a road trip. I need a car and a license by this summer so I need to get on it. God I am a loser. I should have done all this in like September so I didn't have to take the bus this winter. Brrr...

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Zoë's heart belongs in BC

Feeling A Little: Torn
Playing A Little: Girls On the Dance Floor by Far East Movement
Recommending A Little: The Veronicas

Oh god. I have a crush again. Except I haven't seen this boy since I was 10. We have kept in scattered contact but I was talking to him today and oh god we are soul mates. Kay so maybe not soul mates but we do have a ton in common. I seriously have this giant urge now to get to BC and see him again. He meets my height requirements but alas he does not meet my distance requirements... Have you ever just wanted to hug someone again?

I miss our childhood "dating." We once "kissed" I say "kissed" because we were 9 and it was on a dare and on his cheek. I remember his mother like loving us. Aw it makes me miss the days of my childhood. As much as I love everything I have now I miss BC like crazy. I still can tell you exactly how to get to his house from my old house, which is creepy but with a photographic memory possible. I can tell you a lot of things about that town. I think that may be a summer gift to me. BC visit because I miss it like mad lately and I think I deserve a little getaway.

I remember I think for his 8 or 9th birthday I bought him a Ken doll and gave it to him as a prank gift. I had like some transformer/ bionicle thing for an actual present but I remember him telling me he chopped off poor Ken's head. Pretty amusing. I miss him like crazy. I miss my old house. I miss my old life. Sure I would probably not ever be where I am now but I loved where I was... Ah the ifs or buts of life...

He has physics too. Took it over Bio. Can you believe!? Pfft. I'd take Bio over physics in a heart beat. Ha ha I am like a little girl in love. I just miss him like mad. We were like BFFs. I was like another boy in the group. Now I am not so much. We'd even be vampires together. Something I have been searching everywhere for. ;)

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Do you think the engagement rings and the wedding rings will fit?!

Feeling A Little: :( + :D (That about sums it up)
Playing A Little: Watching You by The White Tie Affair
Recommending A Little: 3Oh!3

So I have a list of future husbands and if they all one day wish to marry me I will break the law and marry them all. It is quite an extensive list too. Some are just because I love how sexy they are others are because I just love them. But Instead totally ruined one of my future husbands. I was going to marry John Tucker's younger brother Scott for the longest time until Instead was looking at a picture of Dan from Gossip Girl and made the connection that they were one and the same. Pfft. I don't love Dan in the slightest so I obviously can't marry Scott without thinking of him. :(

Although after watching Confessions of a Shopaholic I totally found a new husband... Tarquin. The sexy movie Tarky because as much as I love the book Tarky he is too odd and Suze can keep him. So Luke Brandon from the books because um tall dark and handsome sounds wicked plus I think he maybe a little insane for marrying Becky (a marriage which I will dissolve. Much love though Bex). And Tarquin from the movies because he is H-O-T.

Ugh so its kind of odd to have like 5 bazillion future husbands right? Well if you ever come to my stupid town you will understand. Like 2 guys have plans to get out of this stupid town. But you know if I don't ever marry one of my 5 bazillion future husbands I have my back up trust fund boy who is absolutely gorgeous and loves me because I am not after him for his money (genetics obviously because he is SEXY!). Or my football coach husband who will frown when I put my boys in ballet just to see if they like it. Figure I might as well be like my parents who put me in my most hated thing in the world (Water!) and to see if it would work. And what boy likes tights? No kid likes tights so I'll be good. Aw my little ballet boys. :D

Oh and more exciting news!! I totally get to see Lady Gaga and the White Tie Affair live! Woo! I am really pumped actually. Means I get to fly again. Then Instead and I totally get to paint Vancouver red. :P Kay its too big but it will be a blast because we will be the most ace scene kids ever. :D

Until The Next Song,
Zoë

Let's Sit Around And Talk About How Lame We Are

Feeling A Little: Content with now, Excited for later.
Playing A Little: New Math by Bo Burnham (Future husband I swear)
Recommending A Little: Kill Paradise

Life is good. Its putting along at a pace which I vote it picks up. I want it to be January next year. I crave the tears and the unbelievable excitement (cross my fingers). The tears depend on the verdict of the letters I get. I have been thinking about it a lot and basically it will be the best moment of my life.

I literally only think about university... mostly because it seems life finally will get rocking, and in a good way. Plus I like the states a lot more now that Barack Obama is president... maybe I'll end up there instead of England.. :P Nah. The guys have to be better than my boring city because really every guy needs to learn what a shower is... and soap. Its oil country unfortunately. More unfortunate because I totally made an Edmonton Oilers reference.

I am going to be broke though because Instead was stupid and introduced me to all this new music, which I love to death. His music is much different then some of the stuff I listen to but I have always had a little (kay huge) love for technoie, dance music so his music rocks. So I basically own like half of iTunes.. :P

I promised myself I wouldn't do a rant about Batman but I think I deserve a little one... I feel oddly free. I stepped on Socks foot the other day and we laughed. I didn't get snarled at and told that I would get kicked in the shin if I did it again. No matter whether or not it was an accident. Its kind of like my parent's divorce, a little less expensive, a little more teenage bitch. You see what you gave up for the friendship, the things you've gained in "breaking up" and the things you lost in the "break up". I think this is the right thing though because the things that happened before the final incident were just two girls being awful to each other. Perhaps one day we'll be friends again but right now we need a break and we need to just go off to our respective friends.

Well I have done stupid heartless things but Batman has done the same. Now we can kind of explore ourselves without that pressure of that friendship. I know that Instead and I have yet to be burdened because he like the same type of music and to me music is my life line so that connection is good. Dokkie- is well that guy I say "hi" to in the halls it seems but with him I am not sure if we'll get through. And despite this whole friendship debacle I am doing good. No break downs... well beside my usually pre period "I wish I had a boyfriend" phase which is usually where I pick up a random crush...no luck this time.

My physics teacher is fucking psycho though. Seriously she is like "normal" one moment and the next she is shrieking at you because you won't draw a fucking vector. Sorry bitter moment, but you draw a STRAIGHT line at a certain degree... sorry if I have been doing this for 5 years and I understand. Wow... I was a little more ranting about that then I thought...

Until The Next Song,
Zoë