Why must I always be in love?!

Feeling A Little: Overly Optimistic
Playing A Little: Camera Shy by School Boy Humor
Recommending A Little: Marianas Trench

Why is it mandatory to have a crush? I don't understand it. When I have a crush it is dead obvious yet my friends poke and prod when I say I don't and I literally don't. I usually tell them. Sure I have a few that I am kind of like I like that guy then its like gone the next day. Those I don't bother with. See when I have a crush I am uber stalkerish. Usually because being uber stalkerish means I can get rid of them faster. Crushes are another thought that is useless because where will it go... no where. I highly doubt that in high school I will find my future baby daddy/husband.

I know I know. High school is for testing the waters. How about I test the waters in a place that I wouldn't mind diving into... University. I don't want to settle down in most of the places where the universities I want to go to are situated but if I do end up living there I will live. My current location isn't even considered as a safety net. Its not even considered if I get knocked up and drop out. I'd live anywhere over here. Cold miserable winters and oil country. Blah.

On the topic of getting knocked up it is just crawling closer to me. At first it was random people, then it was random people who I talked to, then people I saw daily and went to school with (when they were there.) then people I used to work with and struck up some sort of friendship but not thing. Next thing I know I'll be toting around a little one... Kay well several things need to come before that but maybe I'll be the next Mary. It just sounds freaky being pregnant. Come on its like there is cell divison occuring and magically it makes a baby. I think it actually is magic. Then poof (most mothers will probably dispute that it is easy as poof) you have a kid. But first its like you have a little alien kicking your insides for 9 months. Sounds like a blast. Not.

Anywho away from my new creepy obsession with pregnancy. I have offically yet unoffically decided on what school I can afford to go to and wish to. Dartmouth. They have this awesome financial aid thing and this sweet Latin program. But with University comes my uber stress. I am now freaking out about what ifs. Like what if I like fall in love or some silly nonsense like that and end up stuck in New Hampshire? Or what if I never get to England ever! I am just being worried over weird things like that. I need to not but it is me.

It is really exciting that this is only a year and a half away. Like when I register for grade 12 that will be the last time I ever do that. Then I am off to University!! That is like my life goal. The closer it gets the more excited/nervous/ scared, I get. Like I think after university I will just die because of the effort of getting there.

Until The Next Song,
Zoë