Seemed Only Yesterday

Feeling A Little: Overworked
Playing A Little: Love Song by Taylor Swift
Recommending A Little: Jodi Picoult,her books are AMAZING. My Sister's Keeper, Nineteen Minutes and The Pact are my favorites! (Figure after Dexter last week I should do a recommendation about something other than music as well.)
Recommending A Little Music: Something Corporate and Hit The Lights (Indecision got me to put both. Both awesome, different sounds so check them out.)

Recently I read this avatar, funny what can come of those things, and it scared me to death. I know it is a little odd but it was talking about finishing school and losing touch with friends and all that jazz, but it scared the pants off of me. I love my friends to death and never ever in a million years want to lose them. I still have 2 more years of school and who knows maybe I never get to University and instead die. But you never know what fate has in store for you and I am sure my Karma is not so hot. Okay so the possibility of me dying is very low so I am going to assume I am going to get to University. If I was the type of person who was awesome at keeping in touch I don't think I would worry but I rarely have the patience for a whole email and MSN gets boring and impersonal. Where I want to go and where my friends are going phone bills would be insane! I suppose though for them I could break my habit, but what's to say that they don't go off partying with guys or are overwhelmed by the Uni course load. I must say I am little bit of a pessimist and always have to have something to worry about.

Also my little sister, making me feel pathetic got drunk before me. I got totally smashed and couldn't walk but still, makes me a little loserish. I smacked her repeatedly for getting drunk at 12 and told her never again. It made me miss that little girl who I used to yell at for not cleaning her half of the room, who used to be found in the morning curled up with the dog (usually this was a bad sign, the permenent red marker incident has to be the number one memory), or the little girl who I helped hold my youngest sister when she came home. I was her age it seems like yesterday. I met my best friend and I loosened up. I began on my little journey to the Zoe I am today, she isn't allowed too. I wish sometime even if it meant giving up everything I hold so dear to me now, that we could go back to digging in the garden and having that cute little girl 4 again and my youngest 1 again. They were cute then and we had a good time, no psycho parents and naiveity that came with that age.

Woah my mood may say overworked but it seems I am more taking a walk down memory lane. I do feel supremely overworked though. I have had to do little breathy things to calm down and stay focused. Work and school keep me insanely busy which often leads to mental breakdowns. This year though I have decided that it is really not that important. I am important and my brain likes to be calm. As I mentioned before I worry and worry and worry. If I have nothing to worry about I worry about what I might be forgetting to worry about. Probably not heathly but I have always done it and although at times I probably freak myself out I usually end up remembering something important.

This blog is not going to be very long and most likely going to end after this paragraph because its early in the morning and I need to get off to bed. I am really posting because my friend is like post or I won't add you to my blog list so I am posting this. Should update soon with an actual update.

Until The Next Song,
Zoe