Credit Cards Are Not Made For Cutting Up

Feeling A Little: Excited!
Playing A Little: Oh Ottawa by Two Kids Running Away
Recommending A Little: Taking Back Sunday

19 days! Then I get to leave. Perhaps I will feel sad before I go but right now its a new adventure in a new city by myself. Its like a practice run for university, where if I am in trouble I have people to help me... well and I get paid rather than paying. But I am alone. I seriously only feel excitement with a tinge of nervousness. I don't feel sad that I am losing my last summer with Lincoln... I need this not just as a get away but for university.

:D My Cambridge application... looks like :( I don't understand half this crap but I have 3 months so I may just get it done. :P Well my summer thing will be super awesome because then I can get a professor for a reference which no offense to Mr. Smith sounds better than a high school biology teacher. But if I get in I can go!!! My dad said we will take out loans galore if I get in because his credit score is back up... that was a sad story he told about having to cut up Platinum American Expresses and Gold Visas... It made the teenage girl in me cry with the anguish of cutting up such wonderful means of money.

Then tomorrow I get to go to Slave Lake with Lincoln. The road trip will be tons of fun but I also get to see Garret. :D I am so excited!!! Plus the concert. I am so psyched. This weekend in general is going to be fun... Then hopefully my car gets fixed today so I can go to Dawson Creek next weekend and visit the little Justin. He is so cute!

Ugh but then there is the predicament with my crush... I thought I was done and over with him... well as much as I could and then he starts like amicably talking to me all the time... Its usually over physics I must admit but sometimes it gets to Social... or toonie tuesday movies... :( Which I worked this week so I couldn't be like "Lets go!" Because I was tempted too but Kayce would kill me if I missed her shift.

This whole no Social thing is nice but I should probably get ready for Chemistry because unit tests cannot be skiped unfortunately. But its the easiest math you will ever do in your life so I'll live.... But excess and limiting reagents are stupid so maybe I won't.

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Got My Tool Belt On, Just Waiting For The Signal

Feeling A Little: Impatient
Playing A Little: Feeling Small (B-Side) by Marianas Trench
Recommending A Little: Siren's Eye (Hottest lead singer ever. :D)

So close... 23 days now :D I know I know. I should be sad blah blah blah but I'm really excited. Come on a summer to myself. Oh dear... I just realized that this is my last summer. Next year I'll be working like mad to pay for school and then after that the same thing or school. I am never going to have summer ever again. :( But... back to my count down and away from my tears. :D Its going to be so excited. I'm pumped!

Drag me away from these wretched University applications. I don't know what an H1 level is... or H2 or H3... all I got from it was IB. :( I'm no IB so tears. But its kind of cool having to do these applications. Soon I'll be free from this mess of a town. I do enjoy school here sometimes but really nothing is tying me down any more. No more Lincoln.

Ah Lincoln what am I going to do? The internet has made everything so damn impersonal. I'm not worried about losing touch with him I'm just worried about not knowing him. I mean I still talk to my Elementary friends and old Junior High friends but we don't know know each other. Internet/ text me is much different than the real world me. Its easier to express yourself in person. I'm not worried about Lincoln gone next year he can and should go. And is. It is awesome for him and I am happy for him... its after. Who knows what technology will be like then.

We've made all these silly plans for "Uncle" and "Aunt" to our kids but come on everyone makes fun of couples in high school that think they can last forever can a friendship really withstand the test of time and distance? Especially since we both have very different lives planned out. We both don't want anything special, just life. Neither one of us know where we are going to end up and its kind of concerning should we ever not end up near each other. We have lasted 5 going on 6 years with the most unconventional friendship and I don't doubt that we will always keep in touch but the loss of what we have now is what is concerning.

I guess I want to grow up but at the same time I kind of want to stay young and able to do whatever I want. My only responsibility is insurance and work. In the future I'll have a family and everything I've dreamed of. But at the same time I'm kind of comfortable where I am. Its been 17 years in the making now and someday I guess I'll have to unleash myself on the world and put a little work into molding the future generations.

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

(A downer I KNOW!... Go watch Greek. It makes everyone happy. Especially Cappie)