Needed: Boy To Snog and Shag ;)

Feeling A Little: Alone
Playing A Little: Kiss The Girl by Ashley Tisdale (Haha yeah I love Disneymania CDs)
Recommending A Little: The Craving (I do adore Hugh Mitchell)

I was watching 10 Thing I Hate About You and there was a school dance and it made me sad. I mean I've been to one high school dance I ended up grinding with Lincoln much to my dismay. Seriously that was uncomfortable, mostly because it was awkward and my first time. Then there was the slow dance with Garret... :D Oh that was awkward just because neither one of us could do it. You think after 4 years of school taught dance I'd know where my hands go. I just don't do dances and sometimes I wish I did. I mean the dates, the dancing horribly together. I just kind of wish I was better with boys...

Sure I shouldn't worry but I do. I mean I feel awfully lame not having dated at all in high school. I've done a lot of other wonderful things but the romantic teenage girl in me just wants a date. I kind of don't want to be the prude virgin girl who has never been kissed in university. Not that I want to rush out and just have sex with any guy willing but I want to date. I want to explore that world. This mood will pass soon but right now I feel really really uncool and cliche-ly nerdy. I suppose I should be happy I haven't been subjected to the boys here. :D The good looking ones are jerks or taken, and the rest are ugly and covered in grease because their goal is the oil fields, or they are ugly, clean and stupid. Its my imagination wanting one thing to come true.

^ That is what I get when I watch a chick flick while PMSing. Terrible combination. Although I learnt that it is a good thing I didn't read Pride and Prejudice. Seriously I think it was Jane Eyre all over. I suppose Mr. Darcy is slightly more attractive than the Snape look alike. Haha I suppose I shouldn't insult him because I'm marrying Snope. I love that movie. Stardust. :P I was watching the movie with my sister and making jokes about Mr. Darcy wanting to do her on the kitchen table and it came true. Seriously end of the movie they were making out on a table (it was sweet because he did that "Mrs. Darcy *kiss*, Mrs. Darcy *kiss*" thing that I think is awfully romantic). I think I may just have a kitchen table fetish though. :P Is that even a fetish? I'll google it.

That was a very chick blog. :D I am allowed my moments though. I could go on to lament about how two of my friends are ditching me for everywhere in Canada but Alberta. :( But I won't because that will probably come in October when Garret leaves. That actually makes me very sad because we got to be very good friends in such a short time. Seriously I met him... 3ish months ago and it feels like so much longer. :D But I'll save it all for a special blog just for me complaining about being ditched.

Okay so away from my sob story of a love life. School is in less than a week. I'm starting to regret wanting it. I mean I'll have to work my ass off again. *sigh* Not excited. At least everything is spread out a bit though so I won't have all my sciences along with social in one semester. I suppose I'll just have to actually do homework this year. :D But I really wrote this blog to whine about my lack of love life so I'm going to end it. We can talk abut school another day.

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Show Off The Ladies For Some $$$

Feeling A Little: Tired
Playing A Little: IDGAF by Blood on the Dance Floor and IDGAF by Breathe Carolina.
Recommending A Little: OMFG Sneak Peak! by Blood on the Dance Floor and Hello Fascination by Breathe Carolina (Both fricken awesome CDs.)

So I'm in trouble for not having enough money to eat... In 3 years time. I wasn't actually aware I had to plan that far ahead. Apparently since right now I don't have money because I just got a car, had to pay for food this summer and tried to make it my last awesome summer I'm going to starve in university. Frankly I spent $30 on groceries a week. I don't eat much. Crystal Light, chicken/salmon and some sort of vegetable and chicken stock and I am good. Sure its not the most healthy of diets but what are vitamins for. :P Plus I'm going to work throughout University. Its not like as soon as high school is done money stops coming in.

I'm going to work at Hooters of course. Show off the ladies for some money. ;) I'd make a few bucks I'm sure. I'm actually considering training in Home Health Care in my second semester because having that is A) Good for med school and B) I'd make more money doing next to nothing. Being nice to old people. I can do that. Although now I'm seriously considering being a waitress hard work I know but I get tips. Those can feed me. :P I'm not sure anymore.

Pretty soon I'm going to have a mini meltdown. One year away and my dad feels like reminding me every day that I have no money, that I need to save. I know that. But I'm also going to get scholarships. Its just too much pressure for me. I mean I have more bills added every month. This year might be easier to save though. I'm going to be uber nerd and just work a ton. I mean I need to. Coaching is easy though. Same mentality as last semester, push through and get it done. Once this semester is done its slack time. I mean no offense to Shoppers but its not a hard job. I usually get things done pretty quick, then slack.

Looking back though I'm kind of curious about what this year will bring. I mean I earned some amazing friends this year but lost a best friend. One of my worst fears. I grew up. I somewhat shook my super crazy Harry Potter obsession (still can tell you scary facts except I totally forgot Alicia's last name was Spinnet. Stupid me. :P). I changed a lot. I embraced me more, I learnt to grow up a bit and admit my mistakes. The past year was riddled with regrets but those were over powered by the amazing adventures I've had and the obstacles I have overcome. I feel like a fricken drug addict but 8 months now. :D 8 months since my last breakdown, since my last craziness (I mean the depression craziness I'll always be crazy.), since my last appointment. I'm allowed to be a little proud. :D

This year is going to be awesome whether it wants to or not. I will make it. It has no choice. :D Even if it sucks balls I'm still graduating so it'll rock regardless. Grad 2010. Hahaha I'm definitely the coolest kid on the BLOCK!

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

I Want To Have Your Babies

Feeling A Little: Serene
Playing A Little: The Best Note Ever by Captain Chaos
Recommending A Little: Anarbour

So. Two weeks huh. This is kind of it. Like for good. My last first day in this little city. That sounds bizarre but that's okay, I am allowed to be this happy. I mean this is it. The last September I'll walk through the halls. The last time I throw my books into those lockers for the first time. The last time I'm super lame like this. :P I'm just really excited because I got a glimpse of University this summer and realized I'm definitely not going to be disappointed when I do go.

:D Kay so little happy dance for me. I'm actually doing it, losing weight that is. I always am like I will this time but this time I am and you can tell. It kind of really boosted my confidence. Sure I'm not where I'd like to be or even remarkable close but I'm determined this year. Just so that at university I'm not worried about me above everything else. It makes me proud to say that I am, to have my pants not staying up. :D My friggen sisters help in the rudest way, "Did you lose weight in Edmonton? You look less round." It was one of those compliments reversed by an insult.

Urgh I want my school schedule so badly. I want to fix it and get my binders ready. Its actually slowly killing me. I have my post-its ready to be stuck on, dividers ready to go in... But I don't know what colour my binders should be (Now my classes have colours that I recognize for that class, Red- Physics, Blue- Chem, Black- English/ Social, Light Blue- Languages (Second semester French gets a new colour though)) I'm like slowly dying not being able to super organize. Its crazy I know.

Oh and I changed my undergrad again... Major-French, Minor- Latin, Summers- Med School prerecs. I figure I can get work better with two languages (well 3 but what person needs a doctor who speaks Latin?) and I really want to continue them and don't want to take a science degree. I've actually decided. Dr. Vatter. :D Or well whatever it is after 15 years of school. :P If its still Vatter I'd better get on it or at least start with having kids.

On the topic of children I realized I'd be the worst mother ever. I mean my dream for their education is to send them to the most stuffy conservative (not the political conservative *shudder*) private school where because of that they have to wear the worst uniforms ever and they will hate me for it in school but afterward will thank me... or not but I'll love them. :D I'm sure my hubby will agree... with a few threats ;) Aw... could you imagine little boys in little uniforms and ties in kindergarten/ grade 1? Just that would make it worthwhile. Oh and their names will be terrible too apparently. I think I need to change them though. I still like Dimitri but Dominick and Daemon might need a change. Although my girls will be Charlotte and Abigail that hasn't changed yet. :D I think I just added another child to my list... mon dieu. Only 4 max.

Well school, babies and me... thats about all that is on my mind. Now I'm going to clean because my room is a mess and bloody bugging me. Ugh.

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Drunken Karaoke and Teaching the Next Generation

Feeling A Little: Bored...
Playing A Little: State to State by Goodnight Anthem

Recommending A Little: Shane Dawson (He makes music... I suppose. :P I love his videos check him out on YouTube)

I feel special now I have 3 people who care what I put on my blog. :D I'm movin' through the ranks. And soon I'm even going to have a vlog AND a website. Aren't I getting into this whole technology thing. I think its because I'm so bored I've taken to watch YouTube for hours and hours a day. But regardless I figure I'll try my hand at the web community. Who knows perhaps they will love me. Or not. Either way I'm sure it'll be fun.

So I'm going home on Saturday. Does not sound that far away which is exciting and saddening. I mean I had to say an awkward goodbye today. Its really hard to say goodbye to someone that you've only know for 6 weeks. I get a lot of "It was nice to meet you" Which sounds weird as I'm 16 and like it really mattered that you met me. Although it might be nice to have a real meal again. Last night I had salmon and chicken broth. I didn't feel like anything else apparently. Its my new diet, eat next to nothing. Works I suppose but I want food cooked for me and a dishwasher to wash my dishes. Oh the comforts of home. But with 4 days left I really don't want to have to bother with buying food I want. I need to get rid of this salmon before I leave.

Hmm it'll be weird to be back I am sure. I mean at home I can definitely do a lot more... and hopefully save more. I need to begin a saving spree. Goal $10,000. Likelihood of achieving goal: Next to none. But hopefully close. And even if I don't get $10,000 cash I would like that in scholarships. Helpful, very. I need to really buckle down and get some scholarships if I ever want to be able to pay for school. But hopefully I can do it. I will have my coaching money coming in and hopefully I can coach a little more than just Jaws.

I am actually SO excited for the school year to start. :D It'll be so much fun I am sure and especially if I get to coach again. As much as I hate that my hours got cut back at Shoppers it means I get to teach swimming again something that I always loved. The email is sent so I'm definitely coaching if they need any one. School is going to be awesome this year too. I'm going to make extra sure. :D Come on its my last year got to make sure its AMAZING.

Oh and part-ay on! I'm so psyched for my party. I'm going to see if we can have alcohol because I want to do some drunken karaoke and dance dance. Now that will be wonderful to see and I'll definitely make sure my camera is there so I may remember something. ;) Although Lincoln might be able to come which means I'd have to make sure to not get too drunk to be a gracious host. Hahaha hopefully my dad loves me enough to let me but who knows.

Now I'm going to get in trouble soon for not even pretending to work so I'm going to head off and do that. :D

Until the Next Song,

Zoë

Rock On All Summer Long

Feeling A Little: Emotional
Playing A Little: G-get up and dance by Faber Drive
Recommending A Little: All American Rejects and Fall Out Boy (LIVE! :D)

So I have a more normal blog if you want to check it out. www.nerdfighters.ning.com. Search for me I'm Zoe Vatter. :D Well it may not be more normal but its for more people to see so it may make more sense. Its nice to be back in an internet community so I'm having fun. Maybe I'll join the LeakyLounge again because it was a blast. :D I do enjoy social networks where I don't know people.

Oh god I've gotten scarily emotional today. I started sobbing when I was texting Lincoln... about him being famous. So not really sob worthy. I like randomly start crying today for no particular reason either. Pregnancy you know... ;) I knew I should have started birth control... haha. Seriously though if I'm pregnant death. Now any ways...In 10 years undeath. OMG! I'll actually be done med school by the time I'm 30. YES! Then I can have my babies before their risk of Downs is too bad. *Party*

But I'm hooome... at least for the weekend. :D Yay! Its not THAT exciting but its nice to be back in my own bed and see my dad and even my sisters again. Then Lincoln is coming tonight so who knows what trouble we'll get into. ;) I'm just excited to see him again. I do have to admit I missed him a little and may miss him a little more when he ditches for Victoria. :( I'm going to miss everyone... okay so two people but right now that's everyone to me.

I actually think I might miss Edmonton and even the U of A. Its kind of starting to feel like home. I have my routine and I'm becoming quite fond of grocery shopping. Sure my diet is terrible and in the first time in 5 weeks I ate red meat but I mean chicken is good for you, salmon is too just expensive... Sure I'm a loner and next to no one knows me. Which I suppose is just my mood this summer. I'm content with the friends I have and the dynamics I have so I've decided to just have the experience. Well I suppose that is wrong. My lab knows me and likes me I think. I'm learning about Indian culture which is awesome. Bollywood movies sound fantastic.

Its really been a rocking summer with concerts and lots of fun. I thought HYRS might wreck it because I mean working all summer... but its not. Its really fun and educational. I love working in the lab and doing stuff outside it is so much fun. I mean next Saturday I'm going to a karaoke party. That will be so funny. Although I really haven't made any good friends I think I will miss people. I'll make sure to at least do one stint at AHFMR as Dr. Vatter one day. :D

Until the Next Song,
Zoë