Have I Really Joined The Couple's Boat?

Feeling A Little: Confused... Very confused.
Playing A Little: I'm In Miami, Bitch by LMAO
Recommending A Little: Lauren Fairweather (She rocks my socks off.)

Okay... so I'm not single... I think I'm getting used to saying that....sort of. Its weird because its not like I have any proof to being taken. I mean my... I don't even know what to call him, Patrick because that is his name, lives across the country and we don't know what each other looks like... We definitely know about each other as 5 hours a night talking to each other will do that, well I suppose to a degree. I suppose one day we'll meet because I actually do want to now... Next summer because god knows I won't have time this year... Perhaps I can convince daddy to let me go off to Uni there earlier. ;)

I'm not confused over that... its the fact that I don't want to be in a relationship. I know I moan and bitch about wanting a boyfriend and all that shit but now I retract it all. I liked being single. I was cool with it... Now I am stuck with someone who lives across the country, who is so sweet but still, why couldn't it be at home... Haha maybe because its here. But I suppose I can live, not like I was expecting getting a boyfriend this year. Plus at least then when I go off to school I'll know someone.

I must admit though I let my imagination get carried away. Since I've embraced my unsingle status I've gone into fantasy land. Not like scary, we're going to get married and have children but more in depth into our house chat. Weird right talking about getting a house together, whatever I am safe over the internet. Plus I did my stalking he's real. I guess thinking about being in a relationship its nice... when you aren't across the country but 1 year. :D One year until my life really gets rolling. I think being able to look forward to him will help my year along. And talking to him... as random and geeky as he can be at times. I do make him out to be perfect but I know he's not as I can give many examples... but who is and right now he's perfect for me.

I've been reading a little bit on internet stuff and I love the comments. I feel like at little 14 year old girl with this "relationship." This one comment was like "There is no such thing as an "Internet Boyfriend". There is however someone who jacks off while you send him dirty E-Mail. Go see him at your own risk." That one makes me smile... because perhaps I like that thought. Plus should I ever meet him I'm not going there just for him. School hopefully. Queen's sounds amazing and the dorms are really nice so cross my fingers. My life may just turn around to be perfect after all!

Oh but I am psyched. Back to school in a month! Woo... I know nerd... but this is my LAST year. Like after this I could quit school if I wanted... not that I do because apparently doctors need schooling, weird right? :P But this year its Latin all year which makes me excited, perhaps not for the class but I do enjoy the language. And I'm back in French so hopefully I can get a few more DELFs done. If need be I can call up Garret and demand he let me practice my french... or find someone who speaks it fluently closer to home. :D Sounds like I'll be busy in school, Latin, French and preMed. Exciting. But a bilingual doctor will be helpful (Well trilingual but what person teaches their child Latin...)

So life is actually going pretty good. I have to do a few appointments when I get home but no big deal. Plus one of them may actually make my life better. ;)Oh god I really do hope I can meet Patrick in real life... After I gain some confidence and lose a little bit of weight and tone up. But that's my goal, and now I actually have someone to look good for. :D

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

I Think I'm In Love... with Ontario

Feeling A Little: In Love ♥
Playing A Little: I Hope You're Proud by Jamestown Story
Recommending A Little: Marianas Trench/ Stereos (They both rock live)

Okay okay I know terrible. Liking a guy who lives in Ontario. Even more terrible considering going to school in Ontario. But its like not even considering anymore. I'm too scared of Vancouver so I don't want to go to UBC as much anymore. Since I've decided to be a doctor I am looking at good med schools and Queen's is tied with UBC. Plus it'll be kind of nice to experience the other side of Canada. But I'm looking into Eastern schools because I want a change and a fresh start. Cambridge is kind of one of those things that I want to try for but if I fail I won't be too broken hearted.

Now to the boy. I'm torn... Like realistically I highly doubt it'll work/ last. Although we have gotten into some pretty deep responsible talks... Which its good to see that there is more than just sex in our "relationship." Its kind of nice to always have that person waiting... Sure I can be quite... wild online talking to him but still when we converse normally we seem to get along fine. He kind of lets me get out that otherside of me that stays hidden under a blush a lot of the time. Perhaps its just the fact that he lives across the country but I don't know I think I like him a bit... :P Well and he is so romantic its sweet... well until I ruin it with an innuendo. ;)

So far its been fun to be able to do what I want and whenever I want. Like tonight I get to go do... well I actually have no clue what we are doing. :D Wander Whyte Ave or something to that effect. Like on Tuesday I rocked out to Marianas Trench and Stereos that was a blast because I caught a random pikachu and that's how we found ourselves on the giant screen. It was so much fun and I touch Josh. Which was my first celebrity that I've ever touched. Its been a blast to be here.

I must say though at the beginning I thought this program would be a downer I mean in a lab all day working... And now... well I'm typing this at work. There really isn't much for me to do so I sit on a computer and amuse myself all day. Its pretty fun and sure I've learnt a lot and discovered where I want to go in life but its really been more me goofing off. :D Its been a more fantastic summer than I could have imagined stuck in GP or even off somewhere where my dad feels he should drag us to. I mean I totally got drunk again, even though I definitely was not trying, I got in at 3am when I had work at 8. I've gotten in usually at 12 most nights... Its so much fun.

Its nice having freedom... And I don't mind residence which leads me to my university rant again. AH! I am so excited. Like one more month and I can apply to university. It'll be a blast I mean once I've applied all I have to do is wait and then decided... which I've forced myself into a corner with. I always have my heart set on one university and now I've picked 3 so which one do I pick if I get into them all!? But I figure I'll get into one of them right. :P And I've decided to not be such a stuck up snob and to stay in residence. Its cool and so I could deal with it for a while... and of course if its that terrible and I'm at Queen's I could always act on that house idea he had. ;) Not that I'd mind christening it.... hahaha Sex addict me. :P

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Enamored, Exams and Naked Boys

Feeling A Little: Mellow
Playing A Little: Brahsky (I Hate You) by The Maddigans
Recommending A Little: The Maddigans (And some partying with Aerial Underground)

This boy is driving me mad. I want him so badly but he is across the country. Why on earth does the only boy who takes an interest in me have to live in Ontario? Oh and he's English so uhhh I'm so weak in the knees whenever he says mate or brilliant. Why cruel world must you be even more cruel? I'd do anything for my crush back home to pay me the same attention. Sure he talks to me but do I get a "hot stuff" or a "sweet dreams, hun" when I sign on or off. No I get a "hi." and a "Bye" It just doesn't compare. We even do the corny <3 thing at the end of our conversations...

Argh and so I was like "I'm too lazy to do my SATs" so I didn't do them and just won't go to the US... but I WANT to go to the UK... guess what! More tests. I have to take my BioMedical Assesment Test (BMAT). This November. I'm making sure I have both my sciences then. They are like MCATs but not after a few years as an undergrad which I suppose is a blessing and a curse. Once I'm in I'm in but I also have to study my ass off. Like I need 110% to make up for my lacking grades... Oh why didn't I work in class... Because I'm a lazy ass. :P But I've kind of gotten psyched about it. Finally settling down and deciding on a career.

Then I am just a party animal... when I'm not lame at home. Seriously I went out and got drunk again. I was very responsible this time and handed my glasses and keys to Garret. A little confused about the keys seeing as we were out in the country. Then I spent too much time explaining why people called him Gary not Garret. Oh I love my drunken stories... I also like how he didn't mind. Which is sweet. :D Oh and naked men again! Haha I just see a lot of them apparently.

Then I got to dissect a rat! Killed the brain stem :( But its a fickle thing, one poke and poof gone. Plus I apparently did very well for not needing any instruction the second time round. :D Its really neat being in the lab... Okay so it can get really boring like now and I write blog posts but haha. This one's been sitting forever waiting for me to finish so I've decided to finish it... And of course start another. :D

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

With nothing but a T-shirt on I never felt so beautiful, baby as I do now.

Feeling A Little: In love ♥
Playing A Little: With You by Goodnight Sunrise
Recommending A Little: Rockin' Romance (A cover CD of love songs. :D)

Oh god I know, getting swept up in emotions for a boy who lives across the country... Not a good idea. He makes me feel like it is a good idea not because we'd go at it like rabbits (not a terrible down side ;)) but he is really sweet and we get along nicely. Sure everyone is a little different on the internet but it can't be too terrible. I figure I'll actually meet him because really what harm can come of it. (Death really but truthfully I'm dead then and so I won't care.) Plus we had a chat about harmfulness which he started and was sweet.

So this blog I told myself would not be about Patrick (Ontario boy, I seriously love how there are so many Patricks), all this blog. I did get a heart <3>

My week is chalked full of everything. Work. Then social event. Wednesday Harry Potter! Which I am so pumped for after reading the Metro article (Oh yeah city chic now, grab a newspaper on my way to work... then gossip about it with my coworkers :D) with Tom Felton and it looks better than the other ones. But I'm not too entirely hopeful because I've had my hopes dashed before. Then Thursday football game. :D I'm going to cheer on the guests because I like BC better. Then Friday there is a show in Drayton Valley, where I probably get to part-ay with a band again. My weekend is kind of a downer though because Patrick is off in Toronto and can't talk and so no fun late night "play dates." Although perhaps then I can catch up on my sleep a bit.

Work is going good though. I may get to kill and dice... kay well we don't dice them we dissect them for their brain stem and spinal cord. Which I may be able to try. Not that it will be anywhere good enough for a set up but you need to start somewhere. It can get pretty boring at times so I need to start remembering my book. Although thank god for my iPod and internet that keeps me entertain most of the time. I'm not excited for Monday when there is actually nothing to do. :D But I understand what is going on now so it makes it more interesting. I helped edit a poster my mentor and supervisor are taking to Japan. I wish I was going to Japan, I need to learn these things...

Ugh now I have to go sit by a laundry machine for a couple hours. I'm so excited! Ha ha ha I can fall asleep and dream about my lover in Ontario, who I swear on my life I have never referred to as my boyfriend regardless of what Lincoln says. I like half consider it a relationship. So according to facebook its complicated. At least until I meet him.

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Ontario Here I Come?!

Feeling A Little: Confused!
Playing A Little: Break Your Little Heart by All Time Low
Recommending A Little: Nothing Personal, All Time Low's new CD (Rocks my socks)

Okay... so I'm renting a house next year while going to Queen's University with some guy I met over the internet. Sounds safe yes? :P I don't understand me! At all! Like I am usually not so... creepy. Apparently though with the promise of sex all the time I am sold. Jesus Christ I'm a whore. I don't know what he looks like. I don't know if he is actually 17. I've been sucked into the evil vortex that is my sex drive.

According to Facebook though I am losing my virginity at 17 so we are on track. :P I don't get it! Like he is actually really nice when we aren't talking about sex its good. But then we cyber which is all good. Then we have our me moving to Kingston talks. Which actually are very mature and planned out, if we knew each other in real life. What is wrong with me. Lincoln says its because of the animosity we have but I really don't think so. I think its me being horny and wanting the only guy who seems to want me now. Plus if I went to Queen's I would know someone already. In Cambridge (which if I get in I'm going that boy can move his ass back to England if that is the case) and UBC I wouldn't know any one.

I looked at Queen's the rank with UBC for medical school so its good and I wouldn't have to go to Vancouver. Sure I'd have to give up Latin but I never did think it would be a lucrative career. It'll help me in biology and medicine. That's reason B for learning it, A of course being its fucking Latin. Seriously now I am settling down into my medicine aspirations. Dr. Zoe. I love it. 15 years of school but I love biology, I love the human body. :D

Expensive yes but I'm beginning to like this Canada thing. We need doctors here so why not be a doctor here. Canada may not be the best country in the world in the eyes of others but looking at it in my perspective I love it. I think it is the best. But that's my nationalist view. ;) Oh yeah social 20. It has good health care, better if I am a doctor, we are insanely rich for having a population smaller than several cities, and we are actually pretty put together in the government department. More than I can say for the rest of the world. :D

So I'm staying in Canada. Don't know if I'll take the crazy leap to live in Ontario but who knows. I am spontaneous at times and its not like I'm going there soley for a boy. Who is my soul mate BTW. Sorry teenage moment but he's really cool and like matches my crazy sex-ness. :D But its a good small school that looks like it would be fun to go to and I don't hate Ontario THAT much. It'll be cool to see the country as I road trip across it because it would be so expensive to ship my stuff and like $200 to road trip it across.(Kay more... but still it would be a neat trip.)

Aw. So I'm finishing my confusing blog in which I didn't even express my main confusion; am I technically in a relationship if I am planning to get a house and live in it with another person? Or am I just crazy? But we are actually having a conversation about like us as people... rather than just cybering. Its kind of new and neat. I like it.

Until the Next (Crazy) Song,
Zoë

Naughty Dirty Sex Kitten (Zoë...? :P)

Feeling A Little: :D Smiling.
Playing A Little: The Sign by Teen Hearts
Recommending A Little: Rancid

So first day in the lab. That was the longest day I have ever had in my life. 7 hours reading the same 21 pages over and over. By the end I am sure I know every word, just not what every word means. :D But its like the most lax lab ever. One... er two with mine lab coats and no one knows where the safety goggles are. :D Dangerous. But rats! That's going to fun and cute I am sure... Because I don't think I have to kill them, humanely of course. But thank goodness.

Argh! I want my campus card now! Parking is so expensive when you can't prove you are staff and my payroll info is still not through. :( I want to swim for free and park for cheap. I need to get in shape before my roll in the hay. ;)

... and that brings me to the boy. The boy that its terrible but I would seriously sleep with him. He is nice, 17, and from Ontario. I know bummer. But he has an English accent... or so I am told. I adore our conversations. Its innuendo after innuendo. He's fun to talk to because unlike most boys he plays back. Other boys are like oh okay, then change the subject, or are gay. I don't think its exactly cybering but its getting pretty damn close at times. We have scenarios just not exceeding detailed ones. He's "my toy" and I'm his "sex kitten." God I never thought the internet could bring me such joy. But that's weird because he lives across the country.

Buuut back to work. It'll be fun when I get into it but today was exceedingly dull. Like fall asleep dull, which I did. Hopefully tomorrow I can stay awake but again I am up late talking to my darling toy. ;) Even if it doesn't get better I can suffer through boredom for education and that reference letter. This blog was short but I'm off having other conversations now. ;)

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

Stranger: hi. i have a 9.3 inch dick. im 16 and not gay

Feeling A Little: Booooored to Death
Playing A Little: H-O-A-R by Bo Burnham
Recommending A Little: sXephil on YouTube. (I think he's funny any ways)OH and Omegle meet your own stranger.

So I'm talking to a random boy in Scotland. It was kind of a nice little boost to my self esteem when we passed the picture stage. He's not that terrible looking either. Plus I am sure he has the accent that makes them so adorable. Them... look at me being mean to those Scottish. :P He gave purpose to my night, which was otherwise going to be spent slitting my wrists to amuse myself. I was that bored... kay not THAT bored. Yet.

Its like 3 AM over there too. Time stamp my blog a little so I might get this up before editing it half a dozen times then ending up deleting it because its irrelevant. Because I do that a lot. But tonight I am bored so I will make this meaningless blog post. Its better than learning about 9.3 inch dick on omegle. Kay its not but its something to do while talking to Scottish dude on MSN. Oh being on chat sites being 16 is terrible. So I'm being 17 because apparently its a happy medium. :D I really wanted to find some creep to talk to me.... and continue without that stupid "Do you have a web cam" question.

Now its some dude in Ontario. This is a fun site. It is keeping me amused. Especially dinosaur guy who told me he was a dinosaur in bed then disconnected. I like telling people I live in the dorms. :D Although some people take it as an open invitation that we should get it on... even though they live halfway across the world. If they fly here I told them that I'm game. Because really a) who will and b) I'm not giving out my room number so if they are that dedicated I think they at least deserve a treat. ;) Goodness when did I turn into a whore. Ha ha.

So that was like an account of my beautiful night. Ontario boy is giving me tips on how to entertain in my dorm room. I'm sure it will come in handy when I do eventually get a boy back to my room. :P Ha ha ha I forgot that guy who came on asked my asl then told me he had a hard on and asked me what to do about it. I told him that some porn and his hand should do the job. :P I'm terrible. He thought so too.

Wow when I said this was a meaningless blog I meant it. Goodness its terrible. Its like me reaccounting my conversations for 2 hours. Not really interesting. Although here it can have some meaning; there are Frat houses in Canada. I did not know that. Then Garret wouldn't stop so that we could be their frisbee, Gen and I that is. I don't know that Garret would want to be their frisbee. :D But that whole night of getting lost in the city was so amusing. I loved hanging out with those two and I wish Gen could have stayed longer. (Oh "crazy englishman" his words, invited me to go live in Kingston, Ontario. Ha ha. I love him seriously he cracks me up.) Buuut before I get like "I am closing my eyes now, now I am falling asleep, I'm thinking of him, oh god!" I'm going to go because you don't want that, and it would be weird.

Until the Next Song,
Zoë

♥ Cambridge I'm Dreaming Of Only You

Feeling A Little: Boooored
Playing A Little: Love Drunk by Boys Like Girls (Died when I found out they have a new single and it rocks my fucking socks off.)
Recommending A Little: The Cure (Just because I finished The Last Days and that was the last chapter and the also rock my socks off.)

Uh oh! I'm broken. :( Stupid insurance. Annnd I don't get paid until the end of July. Buut bonus on the U of A's weird payroll thing I get paid at the very end of August so that means lots of money to tide me over in case I don't get a job right away. And when I say a lot of money... I mean a lot. :D Its ridiculous how much I get paid for the summer. My job sounds like more fun than work. I'd work 40 hour weeks if they'd let me (which they do... to an extent. :D)

Ah! On Monday I get to actually start work and meet my "mentor" aka the dude who's experiment it is and decided that I could come in his lab but I get shoved onto a post grad or a graduate. :D Not that I'll mind as it'll be fun and its not like I expected me and my professor would be BFFs and study the rat closely together laughing. I had to take a biomedical safety course too. :P Perhaps my lab will be as cool as Allison's and be negative air pressure and level 2 biohazard. Which is intense ish... :D She just can't eat the ameoba. I know it'll be hard when she is hungry. :D

I am so pumped to start. Mostly because I am so bored. Ivan, Gary and I were supposed to go out and do something... but Edmonton has nothing to do so we stayed in our dorm rooms like losers... all in our own dorm rooms too. :D So first day and a bit I was anti social but apparently I decided not to be. I again seem to be making more guy friends than girls. What is with me? I am like this guy friend addict. Perhaps its because girls are fucking bitches and whine too much. Hypocritically whine too. Sorry can you tell I'm pissed at a girl right now? :P

Its kind of odd living alone now too. I can kind of do whatever the hell I want... which is nothing now that I am broke as can be. :D Its parkings fault. $5 a day adds up to a fair chunk of my change. Ohh and it does NOT help that I am getting my period and craving chocolate like crazy. Like when I typed chunks I thought chips ahoy and mmm those delicious chocolate chips. Perhaps tomorrow when I go get pasta I'll buy chocolate. Yeah smart move on my part, bought the pasta sauce and no pasta. I'm just awesome like that. :D

I am also pretty sure that that "have 8 glasses of water a day" thing LIES. I'm dehydrated and I've drunken much more than 8 glasses today. But I still pee like a maniac. Jesus Christ my body needs to learn to make ADH, and STAT. Oh that reminds me of doctors which my RA (residence advisor) is. He is awesome though, because he just graduated and is doing his residency for dermatology... after taking his PhD in immunology at Oxford. What a weird switch. But who knows what I may be like if I go into medicine. :D Do them all. Ha ha ha well apparently there is a Vatter H and Vatter P who have written and published papers on brain stuff. Exciting I am sure if I knew who they were. We were doing practice searches for medical journals today. Zzz. But I'm on the payroll now so boo yeah! Staff at a university.

Until the Next Song,
Zoë